The Life of an Army Wife

Well today my husband left for his last and final mission! It was a bitter-sweet “see ya soon”. As you all know we will be moving on to or next destination and journey. Traveling across country on a road trip to who knows where. Looking forward to the new and cherishing the memories of the Island. Although this journey here wasn’t easy with his first Deployment down range in 2008. What a time! In the middle of 9-11 with death all around him. He’s Mortuary Affairs (92m). He dealt with death in away most of us see on T.V. All I asked was for him to come home the way he left, with a sound body and mind. I knew this deployment wasn’t going to be easy for him, If home wasn’t right. As an army wife, wife and mother I had to hold it down. I can’t deliver bad news to someone that’s already on unstable ground. Unfortunately I did. One of my boys were hit by a Ssg (Sergeant). A coward as I see it. My hubby had just touched down in Kuwait when he called home to get the bad news. I had to settle him down and get him refocused on his mission. His mission was to take care of his fallen brothers and sisters no matter what the rank, color and or creed.

Being an Army Wife isn’t easy at all. You must have that inner strength to be able to deal with the home on a single parent level for months at a time, maybe even years. It’s our job to maintain a steady and sturdy household. It’s our job to make sure our husbands are with sound mind down range, to keep them focus on the mission. With a deployment and many single 30-60 missions in between, I must say I’m very proud of him and myself too!. We as Army Wives holds many titles, not just the typical, wife and mother, but the strength and backbone of our husbands while they are away. It’s never easy for a man to leave his family not knowing whether he’s returning or not, but knowing that home is ok, ease’s their mind greatly.

His deployment in 2008 was something I could only imagine. He told me to stay away from the T.V and not watch the news. Yeah right, y’all know I’m a news junky! so that didn’t happen. I was always watching CNN. He could never talk about what was going on and if I asked a question and he changed the subject then I automatically knew what I seen was right! I stayed on my toes, no matter how much I fight from watching the news, the more I watched it. He was doing fine, always high-spirited and we talked daily, sometimes twice.Thank God for modern-day technology! I remember a time with him calling me, he was quite. I knew something had happened but didn’t know what it was. I hadn’t heard anything on the news so I was scared. All he said was “baby It’s real over here”. I had a terrible lump in my throat and my stomach hurt really bad. He wouldn’t tell me what happened at that time. I just told him that whatever it was to do his job, do it well. These family’s depend on you getting their loved ones home. Take pride in your job for you are the only one that can do it. You are a team leader and your soldiers look up to you! I don’t know how I manage to not cry while saying those things, but I wanted him to know I had his back no matter what. Later I found out that fellow soldier that he talked to everyday ended up at his mortuary site. He was hit by an I.E.D. That quick they spoke and less than two hours later he’s gone. Life is precious all the time.

Army Wives must be strong for their husbands who are in theater (war) or even small missions. We can’t be selfish and think of ourselves while they are off in foreign territories. We are the strength that keep them going, their heart beats for us! There goal is to get in, take care of the mission and return home to their family! I must say I’m very proud of my husband and very proud to be an Army Wife! I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Thanks for reading “WandaThinks”

“Yellow Rose”

The simple things in life! What could they possibly be? Have you even thought about it? Well simple things in life are just that. No big hoopla about it, nothing amazing about it. The simple things should simply warm the heart, maybe bring a tear of joy and a smile. People get so caught up in the materialistic things and forget about the simple things. Lets take this “Yellow Rose” for instance. This yellow rose signifies “Joy” and “Friendship“. I think this is one of the most beautiful gifts to give. It’s simple and the impact is enormous. It’s bright and beautiful. It tells a lot about a person who is giving and receiving such a beautiful flower. I love “Yellow Roses” it means more to me than receiving anything else. True I love diamonds because they do last forever, but it’s something about a “Yellow Rose” that warms me inside and puts a great big smile on my face. Yes we all want the finer things in life. The new cars, fashionable clothing, new kicks, jewelry ect… Now sit back for a minute and ask yourself what is your “simple” things in life? Does it bring you joy? Do it put a smile on your face? Now that you thought about it, name some things that are simple to you. Is it friendship? Is it family? A job? or just life itself. Lets not take the simple things for granted. Remember the simple things are just as important as those material things that you look for to bring you happiness.

Thanks for reading “WandaThinks”

50/50 Relationships

Lets talk about “Relationships“. Relationships can be defined differently among people. You have relationships w/benefits simply called “friends w/benefits”. Some have multiple relationships and then there is marriage. Others just don’t know the meaning of relationship. Relationship is defined as “The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected” A lot of relationships are one-sided! There should never be a 50/50 relationship. If you consider yourself in one, then somebody is being shorted. You should want more than 50% from your partner and you should give more than 50%.  While I was in a discussion about relationships one person said something that made so much sense he state “A MAN and I emphasize MAN… will appreciate the average days, love the good days, and weather through the bad days..” a relationship is not 50/50… if you are only… worth 50% of someone else, then get yourself together. If someone cannot give you 100% of themselves and accept 100% of you, then they are truly not worth your time.  Not a lot of people realize that within themselves  and most people will never realize that they are not 100%… they have been hurt and demoralized and abused. Now there are people who will try to love you through it, but if you are not ready to work through it with them, then YOU are your own problem… and maybe you should talk to someone who is a professional” (Edward Blake). 

If you break it down, we are worth way more than the value we place on ourselves. Why would you only want 50% of your partner? Don’t you want more? Aren’t you worth more? Put in your relationship what you want out of it. You can’t expect him/her to give, give, give and you just take, take, take. Set back and re-evaluate your priorities. You can’t get 100% if you are not 100% yourself. Focus on self-love, motivation and uplifting. Take the time out to know your value and worth! Never accept less than 100%. Men and women need to realize that relationships are of “one”. One can’t receive more than the other. I know a lot of people want to be met half way. This to can be true, but meet at 100% and not 50%.

Marriage is the same way! I hear people say all the time. A man must bring at least 50% to the table. Well hell, what is that 50%? A job? car? money? How can you determine the 50% rule? You can’t! In marriage NOTHING is 50%. It’s 100% or nothing. Even if you are a housewife, there is 100% you have to put into it. So lady’s don’t except 50%, don’t just settle because you are lonely. Men stop shorting these women, stop giving just a  bit to keep them around. Give them your all, give that 100% and you will be surprised of what you get in return. Women stop enabling these men. Let them give their full potential. The more you do the less he will do and at the end you are the one being shorted. Allow them to be Men in the relationship.

Men and women, if you are not READY to give that 100% then let them go. Stop being selfish just to keep them around when you are ready for that next step! This is unfair. Allow them to find that right person who will give them the 100% they deserve.

Thanks for reading WandaThinks

The Message

There have been a lot of deaths lately. From teenagers killing each other or from murder suicide or just suicide, drugs ect. Each incident was a message of some sort. Gun violence, gun control, depression,drug addiction, selfishness ect.. How did you perceive each message? Did you even realize what the message was? Lets take it one at a time. You had Don Cornelius who was 75 years old a music Icon who help change the music industry. He took his own life and we will never understand why he chose this route. Some report that he was ill and had to have brain surgery. Who knows. We all witnessed something wrong when he was on the award show, talking extremely slow and losing half the audience on what he was saying. We will never know what it was like to be him at that very moment he decided to take his life. What do we get from this? Did his family see it coming? Was there a message in his death?

Whitney Houston our latest death. She was a beautiful soulful singer who have touch many across the world. She has had a struggle with drugs, alcohol and prescription drugs. Ultimately these things could have played a part in her death. Some would like to blame her ex-husband Bobby Brown..but can we really?  Addiction is a disease, some would like to think otherwise. She was an addict! Who saw this coming? Was there any intervention? What is the message here?

Murder-Suicide! What drives a person to do this? Is it anger? Selfishness? Is it to get back at the other person? Are there signs to watch for? How do we in-convene? One incident I want to speak on is a murder-suicide that happened in Va. A father decided to murder his twin girls and then off himself. Reports say he love his girls and always was there for them. So why would he do such a horrible act? Was it to hurt the mother of his kids? Was it depression? Was it the economy? Reports say it was to get at the mother of his kids for leaving him. Such a selfish act! Why would you take two innocent lives because of anger towards someone else. Now ask yourself did he show any signs of this? What could have been done? What is the message here?

Teens and guns have been a serious issue lately. I seen more teens with guns and shooting incidents that could last me a life time. Some kids have “NO” clue and NEVER see the bigger picture. They think guns are fun but lack the experience and knowledge about them. Five teens have been involved with guns and unfortunately death occurred.  What could have been done to prevent this? Who if any is to blame? What is the message?

Each incident is a message. We just have to take the time to figure out what the message is. Does it relate to you personally? Was the message drug awareness, depression, gun control or everyday issues can also affect the Fame and Fortunate. What ever the message is adhere to it and use it to help benefit someone else. Don’t ignore the signs and symptoms. Reach out and lend a hand, make a phone call. Let people know you are willing to help even if it’s just an ear!

Thanks for reading WandaThinks

Society vs. The Black Man vs Racial Bias

I was compelled to write about this topic. I have read several post and news article pertaining to “Black Men“. This criminal Bonnie Sweeten (white women) claimed a “black man” kidnapped her. In actuality she was in Florida with her daughter at Disney. She felt by saying a “black man” kidnapped her it would send people in a world wind without thinking twice! The media continues to betray them as “drug dealers, rappers and ball players“. This continued misrepresentation doesn’t give the decent law-abiding working black man a chance. They are lawyers, doctors, business owners too. Stop peggingBlack Men” to be monsters. Stop putting “All” black men in the same category because of your bad experience or heresy.

At the end Bonnie Sweeten, the con artist, was able to use America’s racially-biased perceptions against it.  I cringe to think about how many innocent black men throughout history have served long prison sentences because of the lies of all the “Bonnie Sweetens“. Due to the fact we have some good upstanding law enforcement who decided to dig a little deeper realized this was all a lie. They figured out she was just as much a criminal than the one she pegged to be. This woman was not just a con-artist but she stole over a million dollars from a law firm and family for years.

 Had this happened many, many years ago, Ms. Bonnie would have gotten away with it all and the “black man” would have been doomed. Ask yourself this question “Why was this so easy for her to put this incident on the “black man” Is it because of the media? I don’t want to ponder on the “white woman” because our black men have to step up as well. Stop giving society/media something to talk about.

Uplift yourself and become better citizens. Go to school get your education and be that business owner or lawyer. Pull your pants up and present yourself better. No this will not stop them from pegging you..but it will give them less to talk about. Thanks for reading “WandaThinks

A Woman’s Worth

"RESPECT ME FOR WHO I AM"

The value of women should not come from a man saying “I Love You“. Women should value themselves with the utmost respect. Never allow anyone especially a man to determine your worth! Women need to stop referring to themselves as “BITCHES” and make the man respect you and treat you like the queen you are. I’m not just talking about black women, I’m talking about “All” women. Women allow men to take their away pride. Some women allow men to enter their lives and truly take over leaving them in shambles. These women fall even harder and now the trend begins. They begin to continue to find a replacement man. These men have no respect for women, even though 9x’s out of 10 they were raised by a strong “woman“. Men ask yourself “Why do you treat women with no respect?“.” Would you treat your mother this way?Women stop with the degrading whether it’s between you and your girls or you and your man. Some women feel they need a man to be valuable or feel good. This is not true! Women, we are the strength, backbone and lifeline to all men. Stop accepting “bullshit” meaning, don’t settle just to have a man. Wait for that right one! When he come along, he will treat you right. A good man, will always take care of his family, and be that provider he should be!. He will never allow his family to fall short because of his shortcomings. Women stand tall, demand more and he will give it or he will move on. If he shows no change than let him go. Stop holding on to something that is not there. Allow your self-worth to take over and be a better woman and person for someone who will value you. Thanks for reading “WandaThinks

Red Tails….”The Cause”

There is a lot of controversy surrounding this film. George Lucas set out to do the “Unthinkable” and put out a movie that provided an “All Black” cast. With that, he did not have any sponsors who

 wanted to back him. Paramount nor Fox and many others did not want to touch this. So Lucas footed the bill himself, he put of $58 million of his own money (self financed). This movie was actually made in 2009 but never released until January 2012. Directed by Anthony Hemingway they both have worked hard to bring this movie to surface. We need to support this movie and go see it at the theaters. Why? Because it’s about the “Cause“. The “Cause” is much greater than the movie itself. If we don’t stand for something we will fall for anything. Why shouldn’t we be able to have an all black cast movie that is supported by the biggest of names? Why must we sit back and play the same roles that is thrown before us? George Lucas who put out one of the biggest movies such as “StarWars” did a tribute the greatest “Airmen” of time “Tuskegee Airmen” and nobody wants to support. Not many wanted to view it because it was an “all black” cast. As a disgrace people would rather get a “bootleg” copy than to support it in the theaters. Granted there will be other “all black” movies but they will never hit the “Mainstream” unless we support. We must support our own. This isn’t about “George Lucas” or Cuba Gooding Jr. If we don’t support this movie and show that it can stand with the best, then their hard work was in “vain“. Thanks for reading “Wanda Thinks